Ivan's Blog

A puppy named Whoopi

2010-09-18T13:29:00.000+08:00

Before I start about Whoopi, lets pay our respects to my old beloved doggy.

Miss you Spotty.

After a period of 7 years, we decided to adopt a new puppy.

She's a mixed breed.

We decided to call her Whoopi

Named after a famous chubby black female celebrity, Whoopi Goldberg

Here's some pictures of Whoopi in action

Love you Whoopi!

I came, I saw, I conquered

2010-08-24T00:46:00.001+08:00

Yes the guy who only does finger exercise with his Mac and qwerty keyboard phone decided to take on a challenge to climb the tallest Mountain in ~~South East Asia~~ Malaysia. ( Even our mountains isn't the tallest anymore)

A series of dramatic twist always occurred to me whenever I have the feeling of going to climb Mount Kinabalu.

It all happen a few months back when my buddies had an idea to climb and I hesitated, so by the time I had the balls to join in, they had already booked the tickets without me.. =(
A week later I received a call saying some had already back out last minute leaving a space for me. =)
Rejoice!
A couple of days later just 2 months before the climb, after making the final payment for my trip, I was admitted to hospital for 6 days with all sorts of diseases and symptoms such as Palpitation, tachycardia, pneumonia, dengue shock syndrome, etc etc.
It kinda looks like I won't be able to participate in any sports for sometime. Also it certainly looks like God is trying to stop me from going on that trip and this was it's signs.

But anyway, I recovered, did some light jogging and futsal weekly and decided to take on the challenge of climbing up to 4095.5m of Mount Kinabalu.

Our trip started on a lovely Tuesday morning from LCCT to KKIA

The spectacular view from the window

Our epic trip consist of (from left): Warmachine, Chinaman, Cambodian guy, Parrot Bu, Taiwanese Girl, Double rainbow guy, Mother and cute raincoat girl

Abu depicting Warmachine (inside joke)

Day 2: The climb

We took the Mersilau route which apparently is longer but with lovely scenic views, and if you were to ever want to hike up Mount Kinabalu, trust me, this is the route you want. The other route, Timpohon is as dull as ~~dishwasher~~ mud. (literally)

Yes thats me, with my 10kg bag.

Though the steps are freakishly high, some of them only fit for people who are 8 feet tall. But trust me at certain part of the trail, you really wish that you have your full kit of Camera equipment with you.... (I only brought a compact point and shoot)

It was really foggy that day and when it's foggy at the mountains, it can only mean one thing.. Rain.. This picture was taken a few minutes before the rain pours. When the rain pours, immediately your motivation just commit suicide, because the temperate drops, your body cools down, your muscle tend to ache, you're dripping wet and for me, I feel like sleeping.

It's hard to believe that we are going to climb to the very peak of that mountain, after 6-7 hours of climbing(yes we were that slow), glimpse of the mountain top began to reveal itself out of the fog and the dense forrest.

This was taken after the rain has finally stopped, Its muddy, slippery and some steps are like little waterfalls.

This are porters that carry up to 60kg of items daily. They can climb up and down the mountain with heavy loads on their backs in less than 3 hours

The final 1km to the rest house, Laban Rata was one of the longest 1km ever, (until the next day). Every 15 steps we took, we took a 30 second break... Also because the view was fantastic and we were all amid photographers too.. =D

My trusty walking stick - The Apple iVan (given by Alice), without it, my legs would have been shattered to pieces and I would have probably died there too. Best RM3 I've ever spent.

Obviously, being like a immature child, I couldn't get my hands of ~~vandalizing~~ pimping it with my website, and words of inspiration.

"I want to see the double rainbow"

Random Fat Dude on Mountain

And hey! after 6578965647 stops we finally made it to Laban Rata, the rest house. The buffet there was excellent or maybe it was just the extremely cold weather and the fatigue of our body that made everything we taste there tasted like a piece of heaven.

After that, we headed back to our rooms in the soaking rain, with mud and sweat all over. I being a hygiene freak, insisted that I need to take a shower immediately. However, I didn't want to wait for the water to boil, and i felt like my balls just grew.

I decided to take a shower directly from the pipe itself when it was already heavily raining outside at night. It felt like ice cubes were thrown on your head. But hey, showering in cold water cured my fever!

Day 3: The climb to the peak.

At 2am, We had to make a 3 hour climb to the peak of Mt. Kinabalu. The distance to Low's Peak is about 2km but every step of it gets harder and harder.

The first 500m were pretty easy, just like climbing stairs, and after that, the stairs just went missing. All we had to aid our climb were just a pair of ropes. It was pretty straight forward, you let go the ropes, you die, you slipped when you're holding the ropes, you die. There's no turning back once you're on the ropes.

Waters on the rocks made it extremely slippery.

The smell in the air was filled with the person infront of you's early morning fart.

You even have to careful to not step on somebody's puke.

Flashlight thongs on our head really helps.

It's really funny that each time we took a photo, we look really happy. But in actual fact, everyone was feeling miserable.

Until we saw this

The sunrise.

The entire journey, the pain of climbing those awful steps were finally rewarded with what we wanted to see and Thank God that we made it just in time to witness it.

We were above clouds, This picture is what you normally see in old ancient Chinese paintings.

The view was breathtaking (not because of the eclipse). We totally forget about all the pain and altitude sickness that we had once we've reached the top.

We Made It!

Yes we were prepared for this.

Hi Bunny!

Maybe its because of the cold weather and the altitude, but I miss u even more up there. hahaha

I've even tried to get connected to the internet at 4095.2M up but damn no reception. Looks like there's no technologies in heaven then.

But hey, my iPod's working =)

But my shoe didn't, after climbing up the torturous journey and sliding down boulders, my shoe finally gave way.

RIP Reebok.

You've served well.

19th August 2010

I had to hike down the mountain the old school way.. barefoot. =)

All and all, this is truly an unforgettable experience and definitely the most challenging. I've learned a lot from this trip, the spirit of comradeship, how a little team motivation and encouragement can bring you to the top and finally determination.

Next up, Mount Everest.. haha.

One Malaysia

2010-08-13T00:16:00.000+08:00

In conjunction with Merdeka month, here's some very racist jokes.

1) How the 3 races buy a car...
Chinese will ask: Boss ah, resale value good anot?
Malay will ask: Encik, minyak dia satu tank bape ringgit?
Indians will ask: Inche, ini kereta brapa orang buleh masuk?

2) In Malaysia ...
If you're not lazy, you're not Malay,
If you're not greedy, you're not Chinese,
If you don't get drunk every night, you're not Indian~~~
3) What does CIMB bank stand for?
Cina India Melayu Bank
4) When Hari Raya comes close to Chinese New Year, they call it 'Kongsi Raya'
When Hari Raya comes close to Deepavali, they call it 'Deeparaya'
When Chinese New Year comes close to Deepavali, they call it 'Kongsi Gelap'
5) Q : Why cant the indians win the world cup?
A: Every time they get a corner,they set up a mamak stall.
6) Dating Malay, Chinese, and Indian chicks.
Malay girl
1st date: You get to hold hands
2nd date: You get a goodbye kiss.
3rd date: You both get caught by JAIS.
Chinese girl
1st date: You take her to a restaurant.
2nd date: You take her to an expensive restaurant.
3rd date: You take her to a very expensive restaurant and buy her a diamond necklace. You get to hold her hand later that night.
Indian girl
1st date: You meet her parents.
2nd date: She meets your parents.
3rd date: Wedding night.
7) One day a chinese, malay, and indian guy died and went to heaven. The guardian of heavens gates said that heaven was overpopulated and he can only let a person in if they are truly and purely holy.To determine whether they are holy enuf or not they had to climb the "100 stairs of dirty jokes" where at every step an angel will appear and tell them a dirty joke. If they can climb the stairs without laughing at any of the jokes they would be able to enter heaven.
So the chinese guy started first....on the 3rd step he laughed and *BOOM* was sent to hell.
2nd the indian guy went......on the 40th step he laughed so loud he craped his pants *BOOM* he was sent to hell
Finally it was the malay guys' turn....he climbed climbed and climbed without laughing at any of the jokes...amazingly he made it to the 99th step!! 1 more to go and he would make it to heaven. BUT as he was going to climb the final step he laughed out loud and *BOOM* was send to hell
The Chinese and indian guy in hell were confused and asked him why did he laugh!! he was so close to getting into heaven
The malay guy said :" i finally understood the first joke"

8) One day, two Chinamen got into a lift from the 20th storey of a building and wanted to get down to the ground floor. As they looked at the dial , they could see the number 20 down to number 2. It was then followed by a G. As they were not English-educated, they were puzzled and really had no idea what does the letter G mean. Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and hit G. When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Beng was so impressed and asked the first Ah Beng, "Wow, how you know wan?"
The first Ah Beng replied smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah..."

9)Chinese "practice" for Simple Living :
1 - One Wife
2 - Two Children
3 - Three Bedroom Condo
4 - Four Wheels
5 - Five Figure Salary
Malays "practice" to Simple Living:
5 - Five Children
4 - Two Wives
3 - Three Figure Salary
2 - Two Wheels
1 - One-Storey Link House

10)Q: What do you call a self-made SIKH Businessman?
A : EnterpriSINGH

Q: What do you call a A paralegal Sikh....
A: ConveyanSINGH

11)An Old Imam
An old kampung imam had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects.
1. The Holy Quran.
2. A fifty ringgit note.
3. A bottle of whiskey.
4. And a Playboy magazine.
'I'll just hide behind the door," the old imam said to himself. "When he comes home from school today, I'll see which object he picks up."
"If it's the holy book, he's going to be an Imam like me, and what a blessing that would be!"
"If he picks up the fifty ringgit note, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too."
"But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and God, what a shame that would be."
"And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-steps as he entered the house whistling and heading for his room..
The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table. With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Holy Book and placed it under his arm. He picked up the fifty ringgit note and dropped into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired the magazine's centerfold.

"God have mercy," the old imam disgustedly whispered. "He's going to be a Politician!"

Barney and Ted

2010-08-04T00:03:00.000+08:00

Meet Barney

Meet Ted,

Ted is aaaa.. I don't know. Bear/Rabbit/Dog. Berabbiog?

And no they're not from How I Met Your Mother. =P

Cutest Mascot Ever

2010-07-25T17:19:00.001+08:00

This is by far the cutest mascot ever... and he's cool too.

Will our Upper Iowa University Mascot, "Pete The Peacock" ever be like him?

It gets better towards the end.. Trust me.

What is an Ivan?

2010-07-17T15:26:00.001+08:00

Have you ever wondered what your name means? Ever since the beginning of time, I have always thought that Ivan was a Russian name and there was a great Ivan and a terrible Ivan.

So what about me? I've done some soul searching and stumbled upon Urban Dictionary.com

And immediately I know who I am..

1.	Ivan	1269 up, 609 down
	He is the sexiest man alive and really sweet and so fuking attractive!!! totally fukable

2.	Ivan	731 up, 245 down
	Originally meaning "gift of God". A good looking man, usually of Hispanic or Eastern European descent. "Ooh, girl! There's some Ivan's up in this ethnic party tonight, they all look so good."

3.	Ivan	670 up, 275 down
	A boyfriend who can be a COMPLETE ASSHOLE and the sweetest guy at the same point in time. Ivan: "I can't wait till you graduate so i never see you again and this will all be over." the Girlfriend: (Begins to cry at his hateful words) Ivan: "Nah, i'm really going to miss you, seriously."

I was starting to get convinced by Urban Dictionary until I read this..

13.	Ivan	16 up, 16 down
	A Russian inmate who is accustomed to raping other male prisoners in the shower. "The new guy isn't doing too well. He got 15 stitches in the bum after he got Ivan-ed in the shower last night."

Okay! back to Oxford Dictionary for me, thank you very much.

ps. Thanks to Abu for the discovery of Ivan on Urban Dictionary

iOS 4.0 on 3G iPhone (Parody)

2010-07-16T22:47:00.000+08:00

Gosh, this is so true.. Bye bye dearly beloved iPhone.

Manchester United 2010/2011 Home & Away Kit

2010-07-16T11:06:00.000+08:00

Finally the long awaited jersey has been launched. I really don't know what to say about the new Manchester United jersey as with the other older Manchester United jerseys. This is because at every launched of new jersey, Everyone would criticize the jersey being comical, too retro, tasteless etc etc. However, at the end of the day, tonnes of fans or glory hunter would queue up to buy the new jersey.

Personally, I fell that Nike designers are trying to play a practical joke by designing the ugliest jersey and yet still manage to sell millions of jerseys world wide.

If its for me, i would just get it because of the badge on the jersey. I dont exactly go gaga over the new jersey, I find it too retro but after a period of time, we would all get used to it and somehow fall deep in love with it too.

Besides that, this jersey is also eco-friendly

Product Specification

* Dri-FIT fabric to wick sweat away and help keep you dry and comfortable
* Up to 8 recycled plastic bottles used in the manufacturing process
* Retro collar inspired by the 1980/81 season Home Shirt
* New club sponsor Aon logo at centre front
* Club badge at left chest with ‘Believe’ printed on the reverse
* Chevron stripe detail along each sleeve
* MUFC branding on the reverse of the shirt below the collar
* Dri-FIT 100% polyester. Rib: 90% polyester/ 10% elastane.

By referring to point 2, it can be said that this jersey is rubbish? hahaha

This jersey seem to make them look really old.. Berba dont' even look interested

Hmm, whoever this guy is (from the reserves), after scoring and celebrating like this, has already started to convince me to get this jersey... what do u think?

Tik Tok and California Gurls are the same song

2010-07-12T12:44:00.000+08:00

So we've come to the period where all pop musics sounds the same.

Blow My Vuvuzela

2010-07-08T19:02:00.001+08:00

Vuvuzela finally has it's purpose

Fix You

2010-07-03T01:35:00.000+08:00

When you try your best but you don't succeed,
When you get what you want but not what you need,
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep,
Stuck in reverse.

And the tears come streaming down your face,
When you lose something you cannot replace,
When you love someone but it goes to waste,
Could it be worst?

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones,
And I will try to fix you.

And high up above or down below,
When you're too in love to let it go,
But if you never try you'll never know,
Just what you're worth.

Lights will guide you home,
And ignite your bones,
And I will try to fix you,

Tears stream down your face,
When you lose something you cannot replace.
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

I'm Back... forawhile....

2010-06-19T15:05:00.006+08:00

Thanks to blogger for having a little sense of taste in their blogskins this time in order for me to publish a new post after a month of absence.

Anyway, I've gone for the very "apple-ly" look.

Clean simple "sophisticated"(like that will ever happen to me)

Anyway, here's a few update in pictures again.

New SB-600 speedlight for baby d90. (test shot in a completely dark room)

New family members named Peanut & Butter.

Sold the my caucasian zuzu.

And was immediately admitted to the hospital right after that.

with my pulse being 157. (admitted with 170)

Some weird tubes attached... Makes me feel like iron man.

And what do u know after being released by the hospital, I became Iron KANG!

That's not an ice cream that Phoebe's holding, its actually my Light emitting Paladium Core attached on my chest. Hence the weird face, and yes that is blood. She likes the taste of it.

Now, I'm more agile, stronger, faster, fairer and fatter by 3kgs after being discharged.

Not to mention I have superpowers now.

And thats the bottom line cause "I AM IRON KANG"

(Iron Man Music In Background)

IRON MAC

2010-05-14T16:24:00.002+08:00

Another Day, Another Mac Mod.

2010-05-13T23:21:00.005+08:00

Ever since I've got my first MacBook, the modifications I've done on it is endless.

Zuzu's first day.

Today, my modifications has move to a whole new level with the transplant of the several parts to zuzu. My previous modifications were fan/heatsink, superdrive, bluetooth chip, apple logo, black casing, logic board, hard disk and ram.

Now, introducing in conjunction with the movie Iron Man 2,

My homemade iron man head with lights glowing out from his eye's sticker with cellophane tape!

Zuzu Stark!

I AM IRON MAN!

*This modification was inspired by the late DJ AM/ Adam Goldstein's MacBook Pro.

LIKE TOTALLY RANDOM POST: What is Awesome?

2010-05-03T16:47:00.002+08:00

This post is totally random,

My brand of milk when I was growing up.

How about this? this is awesome?

Iron Man 2 + Ip Man 2 = IPRON MAN 2!

2010-04-30T23:02:00.005+08:00

Iron Man 2 and Ip Man 2, with their powers combine, they are IPRON MAN!

owh yeah, Iron Man 2 is awesomeeeeeeeee.. (high pitch Barney Stinson's Voice)

His high pitch voice just plays in your head doesn't it? Creepy.

Where They Really Belong.

2010-04-28T13:35:00.001+08:00

Chelsea, where they really belong.

Manchester United 2010/2011 Jersey

2010-04-26T22:49:00.005+08:00

Is this Manchester United's new 2010/2011 Jersey together with their new sponsor AON?

Well certainly looks like it, it's Nike's first (i think) collar jersey for Manchester United.

But seriously, whats with all the retro.

Rooney don't look too happy. =(

Off to retailers!

But wait a second, clubs and retailers Oct 2009? wait a minute... Maybe its just a rejected ones.

The Stig in China

2010-04-24T19:03:00.002+08:00

China has always been known for copying cars/ or anything for that matter that already existed. Take for instance,

China's Smart Fortwo

China's Mercedes Benz C Class

China's Rolls Royce

China's BMW X5

Now presenting,

Stig's Chinese cousin!!!!

We should call it Chop Stig.

Original Stig.

Stiggy don't look too happy about it.

Iron Man 2 Poster!

2010-04-17T14:08:00.002+08:00

Literally, Iron Man.

The Dangers Of Masturbation

2010-04-12T13:43:00.001+08:00

NICE.

G SPOT

2010-04-06T11:11:00.005+08:00

Remember awhile back when I mentioned that all laptops are females.

Link

Here's a more significant prove of why laptops are females.

The G Spot on the laptop.

I'm Scared Of Boobies Now.

2010-03-31T14:34:00.006+08:00

Boobs, Since the early age of time, every single men weakness has always been boobs.

It applies in many areas, whether if you want to pay for something if you dont' have the money. Insert "flash a boob" and there you go. Problem solved.

It's like the "Smart Tag" for many purposes.

Here's another example on how BOOBIES makes you earn BIG amount of cash.

The Blogging industry. Nuffnang pays BIG amount of cash to their top bloggers.

LIKE HOW?

Exhibit A

Hi, I'm a blogger who takes photos of myself infront of mirror with my cleavage hanging out for the world to see.

Her name is Elly.

No I don't know her, she's a model not a porn star (i think), she's vietnamese and yes she's hot and cute all at the same time.

Exhibit B

Hi, I'm a blogger who takes photos of my big belly protruding out for the world to see.

I don't know him either.

Which one will you rather ~~read~~ see? (who reads blogs anyway?)

Anyway news flash, if you haven't been reading the papers or have u been stuck under a rock in the past 2 days.

Moscow Bombing Leaving 39 Dead.

This is where the X-Rays machines comes in handy, checking out whether any passengers are carrying any bombs on their body. However, some say that they actually implanted the bombs in their body.

Last time, if you see a middle eastern man receding the Quran before the plane takes off with a nervous face, you'll be scared.

(Mad TV - Bobby Lee 24)

Now, if you see a Big Boobs Russian women in the same plane/train with you, I don't know whether should you be scared or turned on. Either way, she'll attract lots of attention.

Maria Sharapova

Well, at least there's a good sight before you die.

Snapshots from my phone that makes you go, WTF?

2010-03-28T19:04:00.009+08:00

Camera phones..

To an avid photographer, nothing good has come out from using a mobile phone's built in camera.

The simple logic is that, the CMOS sensor is too small, hence making the pictures incomparable to the real thing.

Many simple things are wrong with a typical phone camera, over basic settings, ISO too high (grainy shots), LED flash makes the pictures washed out, unable to select the particular shutter speed for particular shots.. I can just go on and on.

Even if the mobile phone companies boast about the gazillion mega-pixel it possessed, the picture will be too large to store and making the phone's memory card clogged up.

Take for instance this Samsung 12 megapixel mobile phone.

I mean, 12 freaking Megapixels! Some DSLR aren't even 12 megapixels!

Nikon D60 - 10 Megapixels

Canon 1000D - 10 Megapixels

Canon 450D - 12 Megapixels (Midrange DSLR)

Nikon D90 - 12 Megapixels. (phew, won't let some stupid camera phone tapao D90)

However, camera phones have their plus point too.

1. Easy to camwhore

2. Taking shots of the most WTF things you seen.

This are a few recent examples of pictures i took last month with my handy phone's camera.

This Mercedes Benz CLK 63 AMG wit the awesome number plate of

WTC 911

World Trade Center - 9/11?

Or cars with the weirdest vinyl.

Yeap. Thats P. Ramlee.

Hoo Shit Wan

And finally this name list,

I have nothing much to say except the parents have an EPIC sense of humor when it comes to naming their child. Why Epic?

1. Your name has the word Shit on it.

2. Your name is actually a question. (Who Shit One?)

It's so brutal that I actually feel bad for laughing at the poor person's name.

Sorry Ms. Hoo Shit Wan for posting this.

ZUZU'S RED HEART

2010-03-26T19:24:00.004+08:00

Performed another surgery on ZUZU.

Nothing major, just for aesthetic purpose.

Looks really awesome in the dark.

Taken with my phone.. eee..grainy

This is why we need good cameras. tsk tsk tsk.

Shot number two!

Keeley Hazel!

2010-03-25T23:57:00.004+08:00

Someone, I can't remember who pop-ed an interesting question when I showed her this picture of Keeley Hazel.

"What shoes is she wearing?"

Without looking at the pic again, an ordinary man wouldn't have noticed Keeley Hazel was wearing boots at all. I mean, why would I be staring at her Boots when I can be staring at her Boobs?

Anyway, on a totally irrelevant note. they're all Keeley Hazel and number 4 is standing like a show off.

Bai.

Park Ji Sung Is One Awesome Korean Boy

2010-03-23T23:47:00.002+08:00

Manchester United has always boast about their bonding between their players.

But I've never imagined them to go that far.

click to view full sized image.

Sesame Street 1 - 0 Twilight

2010-03-23T12:06:00.002+08:00

One Punch, ah! ah! ah!

Twilight Sequel!!!!!

2010-03-22T18:13:00.003+08:00

I wish this really happens in the next twilight saga.

Twilight: Vampires vs. Werewolves vs. Raptors.

I vote raptors!

Damn in real life.

2010-03-21T00:41:00.005+08:00

Don't u just hate frustrations

It's just like poor ol' Jason Voorhees from Friday The 13th.

Sometimes, no matter what you do or how you prepare yourself, shit just happens.

It's just not your day,

Better luck next time.

Chatroulette

2010-03-20T18:57:00.002+08:00

We need more poeple like this on Chatroulette.

What is chatroulette you say?

Chatroulette
	One of Earth's most ridiculous websites that randomize a video chat session with another random person in the world with a webcam. No downloads required. Anything goes. Things to expect while on chatroulette -4 out of 5 are male -about 1 in 6 odds that male is jerking off or showing full frontal -about 1 in 4 odds the male is looking for a set of nice titties -a video on repeat (porn, something misleading, often ridiculous) -that token 50+ year old -college dudes -less college chicks -dudes looking to chat someone up -girls looking for attention and compliments (see: tease) -pre-pubescent middle school girls -people from other continents (duh) -a short conversation -a long conversation -racists, insecure people who act racist because they are behind a computer screen. -people with ridiculous costumes -people you wonder why the fuck the are on chat roulette -non-sexual entertainment (rare) -rejection -a good laugh -and on rare occasion a girl who puts on a show Similar websites: tokbox, omegle, etc You never know what to expect from this site. Guy 1: Dude, let's fucking chat roulette right now, I wanna see what some titties and/or asian girls Guy 2: I didn't know you were that anxious to see some dude jerkin it while sitting in his dark bedroom. But yeah I can go for some titties. Guy 1: I have a feeling we'll see some titties from tits mcghee today. (five clicks later) Guy 1: Ah fuck! some dude jerkin' it...Do you think he does this all day? Source

Creative, Talented, Funny, and not showing other people their balls.

Source: PianoChatImprov

Baby Asked Me To Upload My Damn Blog.

2010-03-19T21:23:00.003+08:00

Why do people blog again? Can somebody please remind me so that I can get back into the blogging sphere. (It's Good Money!)

It's been too long since I've abandoned my blog, maybe the passion and flame of writing long articles have been extinguished even since Twitter came along.

Even dear old Nuffnang deducted a star from my blog because of my long absence.

Anyway, perhaps I'll try to post random pictures every now and then. =D

Random Photos

New family member, Barney.

Ted is at Shenzhen.

I'll find a Robin, Marshall or Lily next. muhahaha.

Alice Tan & The Chipmunks

2010-01-28T19:50:00.001+08:00

Just another random stuff done during Moral Class.

Family Reunion

2010-01-14T18:14:00.005+08:00

Remember Zuzu's African Cousin?

Now Meet

Zuzu's steroid's cousin from far far away!

Family Reunion.

NOW TIME FOR WORLD DOMINATION!

Communist China

2010-01-14T13:02:00.002+08:00

Thank God for the Multimedia Super Corridor, apparently thats the only thing Malaysia have done right.

Unfortunately for such an advance country like China could only wish that they have something like that.

Reason why?

The internet is heavily filtered in China.

Take this for instance,

Go to Google.com and Google.cn (china's version of Google)

Search for tiananmen square in Google.com and Google.cn

Link for the version that everybody gets to see.

Link for the version the communist country gets to see.

Bon Voyage

2010-01-08T10:42:00.005+08:00

Although the time we had together was a little, it sure didn't sum up the awesome fun time we had.

Will there be a sequel?

ps. Working more hours will distract me from everything...except when couples walk pass you...that's just not fair.

And owh, Karma happens.

Why Does Everything I Whip Leaves Me

2010-01-04T02:13:00.006+08:00

"Why Does Everything I Whip Leaves Me?" Awesome quote from the man himself,

Homer J. Simpson.

Thanks baby and her mother. =S

Right, moving on to my annual tradition of making the list of not necessarily successful resolutions made by Ivan.

Ivan's Legendary Resolution for the year 2010.

1. Go to Hong Kong to meet her (with conditions)

2. Double bank balance. $$$

3. Buy a MacBook Pro 15"

4. Maintain or increase CGPA of 3.3

5. Cure all freaking pimples on my darn face

On other news,

geeez, gonna miss ya, you supafuckinhotmama.

*Note to self,

I shall not be emotional, suicidal, paranoid, horny, forgetful that I have her when she's gone.

Can't take this anymore

2009-12-12T22:14:00.003+08:00

Headache, nauseating, cough, urge of vomiting, dizzy, flu and accounting exams.

Had a bad dream of accounts and couldn't fall asleep the whole night.

Its like when you're in a bad dream and when u wake up u're still in the bad dream only this time, its real.

I need a break.

Things you shouldn't do with your MacBook

2009-11-30T21:42:00.004+08:00

Reasons why you shouldn't bring your MacBook near Ivan.

Front: White MacBook (ZUZU, Ivan's MacBook), Black MacBook (Some poor dude's)

He'll make a Frankenstein out of your MacBook. *Evil Laughter*.. MUAHAHAHHAA

This was why the Blackie was being torn apart for.

Who knows what's next, maybe Zuzu will be the opposite Michael Jackson with its skin operation.

DOGba vs. Jonny "grasshopper" Evans

2009-11-09T19:41:00.002+08:00

Things to notice,

1. Lampard walked away

2. Evans walked away

3. Van Der Sar ran away

4. There's a dog having nightmares on the pitch

Youtube Stars

2009-11-05T10:21:00.004+08:00

The internet is a cruel place, it will make you or break you.
The following are a few examples of how the Internet will give you false hope for just about anything.

Watch the video here!

On a totally random note,

Happy 40th birthday to cookie monster, prove to show that chocolate chip cookies are good and will keep you running even when you're 40. Om nom nom nom nom.

Koo Koo Bird

2009-11-02T17:28:00.005+08:00

A little Story of Alice and the Big Bird.

Big Bird & Alice

Small Bird & Alice

FUuUuuuuUUuuU!

The last picture is dedicated to Jojo.
Birds rules. especially Blue Birds. ifyouknowwhatimean.

One Night in The Najib's Turf

2009-10-26T22:39:00.003+08:00

Putrajaya @ night.

A multimillion ringgit bridge over a man made river.

Spooky tree in conjunction with Halloween!

Man Utd Supporter snapping photos of what looks like Brooklyn Bridge.

Cheap Bokeh Shots

Vrooooommmm!

Dogs = Adorable or Creepy

2009-10-07T17:48:00.002+08:00

I want a dog,

okay, the 2nd one just gave me nightmares, maybe a french bulldog...Cruel little owner..

Sesame Street Does Apple iPod ads!

2009-10-04T12:46:00.003+08:00

Original Apple iPod ad featuring The Ting Tings

Sesame Street's Version. Even kids now dig Apples! hahaha

Flood in Georgia

2009-09-25T23:02:00.005+08:00

Lovely weather in KL everyday if you noticed. Clear blue skies puffy white clouds. In the words of Bono - U2 "Its a Beautiful Day.. AHhhhHHHhh"

Lovely puffy clouds, reminds me of the Pixar short clip before up.

Outside my home

Well we should be thankful because it is not so lovely on the otherside of the world @ Georgia, home of the Coca Cola corp & Six Flags Amusement Park. 2 years back, Georgia suffered massive drought and when they wished for water they had water, well a little too much I guess?

Such a shame to see Six Flag's Legendary Rollercoaster underwater, maybe its a new twist of wetpark and dry park??

Kanye's right this time though..

1Malaysia F1 Team

2009-09-16T03:42:00.003+08:00

In the mind of a Malaysian Prime Minster,

"Lets increase the price of petrol and start our own F1 Team!"

"We have spare cash, and our National Car Proton is shit, what shall we do.

Choice 1: Fund the National Car Company for further development

Choice 2: Buy a F1 team"

"Even though our car quality is shit, as long as it can bee seen on tv, its good enough, it will improve sales."

I just puked...........on the car.

Everytime you Pump RON95/Pay taxes, you are contributing to 1Malaysia F1

Interruption Week! : Obama Lies! & Beyonce has the Best Video!

2009-09-14T16:30:00.009+08:00

What a strange week, something is wrong with the world.

Everyone just can't seem to sit still and let people finish their speech.

First it was the case of a Republican Lawmaker who shouted "You Lie" out of displeasure to President Barack Obama when he was giving his speech.

"You Lie" @ about 1.20 min

Just 4 days later, its Kanye West's turn to steal the limelight from poor ol' Taylor Swift after winning her first MTV Video Music Awards for the category of Best Female Video Award.

In typical Kanye fashion, he went on stage while Taylor is giving her speech and grab her mic saying in front of live tv audience claiming "Beyonce has one of the best videos of all time!"

Well, when videos goes up on epic youtube, it is only time for people (geeks) to merge them together.

Obama disagrees with Kanye West too!!!!!!!

Relationships

2009-08-24T14:57:00.000+08:00

Its so true.

The Malaysian Government Thinks that Homosexuality Causes Swine Flu

2009-08-24T00:09:00.002+08:00

Seriously What the F??

This Swine Flu thingy is getting out of hand.. First too much media exposure, next too much unnecessary panic caused, and now this??

Every so often there's a story on the global health circuit that is so absurd, it causes our proverbial record to scratch. Like the time that South Africa's former Health Minister, Manto Tshabalala-Msimang, said that ingesting lemon juice and potatoes could help treat HIV. Or when evangelical groups like Word Relief, who received millions of U.S. federal dollars in PEPFAR funding under President George W. Bush, told people in countries like Mozambique, Kenya and Haiti that condoms don't work to prevent STDs.

Well, now it's time to count Malaysia's government-run news service as part of the global health lie factory. Today they're out with an article from a physician that says homosexuality and masturbation make the body an easy target for Swine Flu (otherwise known as H1N1). The scary part is that the news service in question, Bernama, runs their stories in nearly every part of the country. Lies and misinformation, get ready to spread.

The doctor at the center of the article, V. M. Palaniappan, used to teach ecology at the University of Malaysia. Maybe he should have stuck with ecology instead of wading into the waters of global health. Here's his rationalization behind his theory, which almost reads like a non-sequitor from Alaska's former governor. Check it out:

Dr. V. M. Palaniappan said that homosexuality and masturbation caused the body to develop friction heat which in turn, produced acid and made the body hyperacidised.
"Thus, the body becomes an easy target for H1N1 infection," he told Bernama, emphasising however, that normal sexual union between members of the opposite sex was absolutely safe....

Ah, yes. It's only the homosexual sex that causes friction heat. Must be all that dance music we listen to while getting it on...

Two words come to mind. Medical crackpot. Yet the government of Malaysia gives this guy a voice with which to reach people across the country, and offer medical advice. I wonder if that has anything to do with the fact that Malaysia criminalizes homosexuality with penalties ranging from twenty years in prison to whippings and beatings. Or that Malaysia's ruling political party is so vehemently anti-LGBT, that they even have a sub-section of the party known as the "People's Anti-Homosexual Voluntary Movement."

Anyone else thinking that we could start a reality show under the title of, "When Countries Attack Global Health"?

I think something is wrong with the people leading our country this time.

World's Most Bad Ass Jogger

2009-08-09T19:38:00.002+08:00

WTF???!

Tim Dream I Died

2009-08-02T23:14:00.003+08:00

Today's random conversation

4:16:11 PM -TiMoN-: ivan....

4:16:12 PM -TiMoN-: dude..

4:16:14 PM ivaaaaaaannnn.: yooo

4:16:19 PM -TiMoN-: i had a really fucking bad dream about you yesterday

4:16:24 PM ivaaaaaaannnn.: fuck

4:16:25 PM ivaaaaaaannnn.: what happen?!

4:16:37 PM -TiMoN-: u er..

4:16:39 PM -TiMoN-: u died man

4:16:43 PM -TiMoN-: please avoid escalators

4:16:46 PM ivaaaaaaannnn.: what the..

4:16:58 PM -TiMoN-: u fell from an escalator

4:17:00 PM -TiMoN-: in pyramid

4:17:05 PM ivaaaaaaannnn.: fuck

4:17:07 PM ivaaaaaaannnn.: i'm going pyramid tomorrow

4:17:12 PM -TiMoN-: i could hear you screaming all the way down

This pops a question, whats your opinion on dreams? Do they really come true?

I'll be going back to work tomorrow... So probably I need answers quick.. =S

KAME HAME HAAAAA!

MTV WORLD STAGE 2009

2009-07-29T13:10:00.002+08:00

This is a video entry to catch Kasabian live at the MTV World Stage 2009.

VOTE HERE!

http://www.xpax.com.my/uoxmtv/entry/fat-lip.html

Ivan is a bad boy.

2009-07-26T13:20:00.005+08:00

According to Today from MSNBC, Ivan is listed as top 10 "bad boy" baby names.

"New parents may balk at naming their newborn boys such tried-and-true but yawn-inducing names as Michael or David — but a new study shows that if they play it safe, they may be doing their babies a favor.

Writing in Social Science Quarterly, Shippensburg University professor David Kalist says giving newborn males oddball, girly or strange first names may just help land them in jail.

In alphabetical order, the Top 10 “bad boy” names, according to Kalist, are Alec, Ernest, Garland, Ivan, Kareem, Luke, Malcolm, Preston, Tyrell and Walter."

Source

Does this look like a bad boy to u?

LULZ!

2009-07-24T17:27:00.003+08:00

"GO GO POWER RANGERS."

Manchester United's new song

Manchester United vs. Malaysia XI Story in Pictures

2009-07-21T00:59:00.004+08:00

I'm a little lazy to blog about what happened and all during the match as blogger is being a bitch and not being able to save the post is killing me...

So I've decided to upload all lovely pictures to Flickr instead. =D

Anyway, reached Bukit Jalil pretty late(5.30pm) considering its a tradition for hardcore football fans to camp outside the Stadium couple of hours earlier.

Met Jim the "Jinx"

Sea of reds when we arrived.

However we managed to get our perfect seats just just in time for kick off.

Atmosphere there was spectacular, 85,000 fans there thought that they would witness the trashing of Malaysia once again.

BUT, everyone of them were eventually proved wrong after the shocking shocking score-line.

Anyway, will stop the talking as tons and tons of blogs/newspapers/forums have already covered what happened during that astonishing day.

So here is what the camera is for on the day!

Starting Line Up.

Salam with the datuk datuk time.

Malaysian XI

United XI

--------

The Nani Vs. Malaysian Keeper Story

Malaysian Keeper: You've just got served

Nani: I'm gonna kick your balls later during the free kick.

Nani's revenge to kick the goalkeeper's balls

Keeper just got served.

-------

Nani's Corner Kick

Malaysia did the unimaginable.

It's more like the home to Manchester United than Malaysia.

Night falls at Bukit Jalil

Before. (60mins, Owen sub in)

After (85 mins: GOAL!)

John O'Shea

Weeeeeee!

Malaysia's most impressive 90 minutes

Lap of honor!

Racism in United.

Lucas and Mr. WTF Face?

Chicks + Football Match = Double Awesomeness!

Massive human traffic on the way back

Alice proving her jersey is original!

Hope to see you again!

--------------

Current Desktop Wallpaper!

Full Album -> Flickr.

When Michael Jackson's Death News Has Gone Too Far

2009-07-16T01:16:00.003+08:00

After the death of Michael Jackson, there have been a feeding frenzy mentality happening. It looks like all sorts of media are covering the news of his tragic death.

Well, looks like the media has gone too far this time after the Jackson news tap has gone dry.

News story from The Sun UK.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2536406/Ghost-of-Jacko-snapped-on-car.html

For GOD SAKE! Its a bloody cloud.

Firefox 3.5

2009-07-12T13:01:00.002+08:00

Anyone tried the latest Firefox 3.5?

Despite being an upgrade booting it up is terribly sloooow.

After a long research I've figured out the problem.

Let's just hope one of them is a female.

Michael Jackson Death IS FAKE!

2009-06-29T23:40:00.005+08:00

Or is it?

Well since everyone has been blogging about Michael Jackson's Death.

Here is a few reasons why I feel that the "late" Michael Jackson death is fake.

Michael Jackson wants to run away from all the $400 million debt
Michael Jackson is unfit to perform even 1 concert yet alone perform 50 concerts in UK.
After the death of Michael Jackson, his sales album increase, iTunes top 20 download charts are flooded with his awesome songs, then this would increase profit for him.
Running away from all his hate fans and journalist who are stalking him and just waiting for him to make another slip.
Wants to avoid the lawsuit from the Prince of Bahrain.
Wants to spend time with his family away from the paparazzi
Receive insurance money from his death, i'm sure it is enough for him to cover up his entire life.
He is already 50 and he has already accomplished every single thing in his life. So practically there is nothing else left to be done but to enjoy life.

So this are a few random things which I have been thinking about after the death of Michael Jackson.

Well, I'm not saying that he isn't dead but he is an icon to all of us and he deserve a lot of respect from everything that he's done. Rest in Peace, the gloved one.

But who is he really kidding, he's a zombie from Thriller, he will never leave our hearts. =)

Manchester United New Home Kit!

2009-06-27T20:41:00.005+08:00

Well, predictions can be wrong.. from my previous post.

But this will be the upcoming official home kit for Manchester United.

Personally, I don't think its one my favorites but hey, its always interesting to see how Nike can design anything and be a marketing success.!

I'm not surprised either if this jersey was selling like hot cakes during the match against Malaysia on the 18th July. (Did I mention WE MALAYSIANS will be giving the privilege to see them playing in this jersey for the first time?)

Well about the design, what does the V stands for?

Quote from Park Ji Sung

"I like to think of it as V for victory and hopefully we can win every game we play in the new kits!"

Some people said its a tribute to Vidic, since his name starts with a V.

So Shieng and I came out with a few Manchester United Stars if their name was all starting with V.

Vayne Vooney

Vark Vi Vung!

Can't wait to see them LIVE!

Things I've Learn from Transformers 2

2009-06-25T22:26:00.002+08:00

This post may contain spoilers.

1. Robots have 2 big metal balls

2. Even Decepticon hates America

3. There is a difference between living with your mother and your mother living with you.

4. No matter how sophisticated robots are, a simple voicebox cannot be fixed.

5. Even aliens have tattoo

6. You can train decepticons to become a chihuahua.

7. Obama runs for cover the moment the world is in trouble.

8. Megan Fox's "I Love You" technique works to revive people from the dead.

9. Heaven consist of Autobots and Primes.

10. Decepticons posing as hot college chicks will want to dry hump you before they kill you.

11. Robots will age and carry a walking stick

12. Robots hump humans

13. Robots either talk with a black man' slang or with a spongebob voice.

14. You don't have to be the President or even the Captain to order the Navy to Fire at Pyramids.

15. You will be able to get pass any check in security if you're from New York.

16. Ooompa Loompa's are from Egypt

17. College chicks are all HAAWT!

18. How come Sam didn't go crazy throughout the entire film?

19. Bumblebee acts like a 3 year old when his master leave's for college

20. Army without helmets always survive.

A Global Pandemic Conspiracy

2009-06-18T22:22:00.002+08:00

Swine Flu, thats the word i love to use instead of the numerical and acronym updated version of the name A H1N1 virus.

To be I think its a whole government conspiracy. WHY?

Although I'm no Rocket Scientist, but i believe more people actually die from many other natural cause in that period as compared to the H1N1 virus.

Yes, it is a killer virus in Mexico but bringing it back to here the fatality number is still remain 0 after few months.

I feel that a few druggie companies are collaborating together creating this mild killer virus and also created a vaccine for it. Then the World Health Organization will buy their aids for a really really high price in desperation and aid those in Mexico or elsewhere around the world.

Same goes for the recent April Fool Virus scare, the Conflicker virus.

Microsoft stated on April fools day, computers will just automatically shut down and almost 50% of all computers have already been infected bla bla bla.. But what actually happen?

Just another scam for more Anti Virus companies to promote and sell their antivirus software?

Maybe it might be another scam from Microsoft to promote to all users to update to their original software?

Who knows, well time will only tell perhaps.

The only pandemic i can think of is

I'm soooo startled...

Where Do Babies Come From?

2009-06-14T18:41:00.001+08:00

Explosm to the rescue when I can't think of anything to blog. Writers block again?

I HAZ TICKETZ!

2009-06-03T14:43:00.008+08:00

Finally, weeks after I've paid for my golden ticket, the tickets to ~~Willie Wonka Chocolate Factory~~ see Manchester United is finally in my hands!

Where Sir ~~Willie Wonka~~ Alex Furguson will manage his Ommpa - Loompas to the demolition of the Malaysian team.

Owh yeah, the above pictures are the previous 2001 tickets and the current 2009 tickets. Very minimalist design now. Sorry for showing off. Please don't drool over the Official Manchester United South East Asia Supporters Handbook.

Randomness Time

Bang!

Rempit Wannabe

Biggest Anticipation Movie Of All TIme!!!

2009-05-31T16:18:00.002+08:00

To all 90's babies, Toy Story 3 will be out on June 18! Till today, after tons and tons of fantastic and some horrible Disney movie (eg. HSM, Miley Cyrus.. etc etc..) Disney is back to recapture the hearts of its trueee fans from the 90's with Toy Story Trilogy! hahaha..

Trailers pretty awesome too..

Giant Cockroaches

2009-05-27T22:27:00.004+08:00

I meant to say Cockroaches in Giant Shah Alam actually. Not Gigantic cockroaches.

Moments before its death.

Still running..

Step on by some random customer....

Thats the life story of a cockroach living at Giant.. May you have a better life in the future. May God be with you Cockroach..

RIP COCKROACH.

System Of A Down..

2009-05-25T18:07:00.001+08:00

The entire Maxis center operation system is down. Therefore, all sales, payments and everything else shall not be able to proceeded.
The screwed up part of it was that I wasn't able to close a sale because of this situation...
Cursed? ...

I'm Still Alive

2009-05-25T01:06:00.003+08:00

Dear people, I'm still alive. Just had been really really really busy till I don't even have the time to turn on Zuzu. And the amazing thing is that, I (ivan) even kinda forgotten how to type on the keyboard. That was how long since I've touched Zuzu.. sleeping for 3 days...

Anyway, I've been busy on a couple of things.

Juggling 3 jobs isn't easy, but its hell of an experience.

1. Machines

2. Event Company

3. iPhone Event @ Shah Alam, GIANT..

Yes, I'm not making up the 3rd one, its true that MAXIS is desperately trying to sell iPhones at all location even at GIANT.

But as for me, with my CHINA Man thinking, Money is everything. Don't care about the location as long as it pays well and yes it does! With 13 bucks an hour. How can I possibly turn it down?

But again maxis.. why giant?? why why why?

Not only does that place is filled with either fish buying housewives or some Nepalis construction worker going there to buy some groceries or even taking shower in the toilet but dude... GIANT??!

They must be that desperate to sell it all out before the new one comes out eh this July 17.. oops..

So again, I have been working for Machines all this while, and I can blog all the time, but why not at Maxis?

Firstly, there is no computer at Maxis.. boohoo..

secondly, iPhone can't access blogger.com sucks right?

Owh yeah, did I mention that each of us got an iPhone 3G that we can bring home?

That means, Zuzu cousins has been reunited.

Meet The Family,

iPod Classic, iPod Shuffle, MacBook, Apple Mouse, Apple Remote, Apple iPhone 3G!

Manchester United Winners Of The Barclays Premier League

2009-05-17T03:04:00.004+08:00

Just a short post, but We're the Winners

(Insert Theme Song by Queen - We Are The Champions)

Hat trick of BPL trophies in a row.

Trophies Check List for 08/09

Charity Shield - SUCCESS

FIFA Club World Cup - SUCCESS

League Cup - SUCCESS

FA CUP - FAIL

Barclay's Premier League - SUCCESS

Champions League - PENDING FOR SUCCESS, 27th May

Computers = Male or Female

2009-05-15T11:57:00.010+08:00

3 days of 12 hours working labor results in my really really fatigue feet now, not to mention sore!

Still, I have to blog daily like I mention in previous posts.

Anyway, in response to JianHao's comment on Zuzu

"13 May 09, 19:23 jianhao: so is it a she, or a he."

Therefore this leaves it to a debate, are computers a Male, Female or Transvestite?

In my opinion, I feel that computers (Zuzu in particular) is a female.

This is because I'll be touching my computer till the late nights and giving me entertainment too.

Apart from that, I also insert objects in and out of her body.

Besides, Zuzu is really fair and slim. Her fair white body is also really smooth and when she will occasionally gets hot when I play with her too much.

And for the Macbook Air, people are obsessed over the slimness of it, just the same as people are obsessed over a slimmed figure female. You don't see people being obsessed over a big and bulky notebooks/females. =P

Not to mention once you have commit to one, you'll spend your entire salary paying for her accessories.

Anyway no offense to the rest of the entire female species / bulky laptop owners.

I'm running out of things to blog about... Plus I'm bored again at work... booohooo...

Manchester United Live In Malaysia 2009!

2009-05-14T14:28:00.002+08:00

Glory glory Man United, glory glory Man United, glory glory Man United and the RED COME MARCHING AT BUKIT JALIL!!!

Malaysia XI v United
18 July 2009, Bukit Jalil Stadium, kick-off 10:30 BST

There will be a special pre-sale period of match tickets in selected Nike Concept and Al-Ikhsan sports stores in Malaysia from May 22-31. Fans who buy tickets during this pre-sale period will also be given free passes to watch United training.

Public sales begin on 1 June. Match tickets are priced at RM 58 (GBP 11), RM 68 (GBP 13) and RM 98 (GBP 18), with limited VIP tickets at RM 308 (GBP 57) and student concessions at RM 28 (GBP 5).

Fans can buy tickets from Ticketpro’s 13 sales outlets across Malaysia, online at www.ticketpro.com.my or by calling 03-7880 7999.

Source: www.manutd.com

Sweeeeet...

The last time Manchester United came down they trashed Malaysia XI 6-0 and that was way back in 2001 and I was the small little boy in the stands there cheering my ass off and doing the wave in my little red Manchester United jersey. Still keeping the RM80 ticket though.. Memories..

Anyway, who is up for it? Count me in on the Rm98 one. See ya there!

Miss California, Rihanna & Cassie Pictures!

2009-05-13T12:18:00.003+08:00

No there isn't any Miss California, Rihanna or Cassie Pictures on my blog.

Just a plain old trick of posting unnecessary titles to attract random people for searching.

Sorry if you actually believe I posted the pictures of these really hot babes on my blog. But hey, you know what, try looking for Mr. Gutter if you really want those pictures and don't look for my blog if you want those pictures. Gotta keep it below 18SX.

Anyway, having severe writers block now. Gonna start random posting everyday from today onwards..

Owh yeah, I've named my MacBook Zuzu. (Don't ask how I got it. Randomness)

It comes with an awesome/ very un-creative wallpaper too.

Lazy Holiday Got Me Watching Britain's Got Talent

2009-05-06T19:35:00.006+08:00

That's right, it's finally the semester break and what's install for me during this semester break?

NOTHING.

Yeap, since the car still hasn't been repaired yet. Practically stuck home all day. =) HOW SWEET.

With me being stuck at home, my ultimate ninja sense of geeekiness haz becomez X10000000 combo bonus ultra flucking cool bay bay!.

Things that I've done,

1. Installed Microsoft Windows 7 Release Candidate Edition.

2. Watched a whole lot of Britain's Got Talent

Susan Boyle KICKED Hollie Steel's 10 Year Old ASS.. HAHAHA

Besides that, take a look at this few video.

Observe Simon Cowell's Facial Expression

The best dance group EVAARR! FLAWLESS

3. Know that Genghis Khan's name isn't Genghis Khan. That show is awesome!!

Why was it awesome? It's because it shows a bunch of Japanese Dudes and Chicks acting as and Sp Monglians speaking English. See how united we are? awwww

4. Witness the AWESOMENESS of Manchester United demolition

5. Started playing Restaurant City

Royal Parade of Death

2009-05-01T01:26:00.004+08:00

Why does so many shitty things happen in the past few days, it is as if the world is going to end tomorrow or something. From shitty swine flu pandemic, to the lost of a friend's dad, to a terrible terrible exam paper, the bankruptcy of Chrysler and closing of Pontiac Automobiles and to the crazy dude who killed 4 injured 14 by standers @ the Dutch Royal Event.

It just shows how vulnerable humans are and life and be taken away in just a split second whether you are ready or not. (overdramatic detected)

Anyway, holidays next week which is a good thing to finally catch some good night's sleep and time to earn some big bucks again or....

Should I go on a vacation?... contemplating..

In other news,

Five Minutes Short Film is now released in DVD format.

DVD is not for sale........ Well if u want to pay me go ahead. I don't mind collecting money.

Happy Labor Day.

Bored + Exam = More Excuses To Waste Time

2009-04-24T19:24:00.002+08:00

Modifying your desktop look is a great way to kill away the exam stress.

Five Minutes

2009-04-23T23:53:00.007+08:00

This video couldn't be uploaded to youtube because of the copyrighted music...

Besides that, Facebook is being a bitch for not allowing me to upload any video at all.

MobileMe however remains faithful to it's Rm300 per year paying customer.

Heres the link to the World Premiere of FIVE MINUTES The Short Film.

http://gallery.me.com/ivankangweihan#100024

Enjoy!

UPDATE!

Finally Youtube passed the Audio copyrighted law shits with my video.

Squidworth = Mike Riley (Referee)

2009-04-20T01:31:00.002+08:00

Come on Man Utd.... Win Win Win!

My 200th Post - A Desktop Upgrade

2009-04-17T01:29:00.001+08:00

I'm a geek.

My Coke Collections

2009-04-15T19:30:00.003+08:00

Ever since 2003, I had started out a very weird hobby of collecting Coke bottles/cans. It all started out with a single glass bottle that I had bought from Giant.

It's 2009 now, I have a total of 46 cokes in my room. Some have been in an unfortunate event of falling from my shelve and some have suffered the test of time, which eventually rusted and begin to bleed, bleed out sweet and lovely diabetic coke.

My coke collection comes from all over the world starting from Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, China, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Japan, South Korea, Australia, Czech Republic, Italy, United Kingdom, South Africa, United Arab Emirates, and finally United States.

Heres a few fun fact, I have never even been to 1/4 of the countries listed & I don't fancy drinking Coke. =D

What Can You Do With Your Old CRT Monitor?

2009-04-15T00:25:00.003+08:00

Okay it kills my rooms aesthetics, but hey, it saves my eye sight from squinting and also now I have a 15" + 13" monitor which means I have a total of 28" of screen... Bigger than iMac! wooo..

Okay, geek time over. Reason why I brought this is to save my time when doing assignments especially when u need to refer to websites and another page on Microsoft Word.

RETRO BAYBAY!

Bruno 2009 Official Trailer!

2009-04-08T01:25:00.004+08:00

Yeah, the creator and star of Borat has came out with an even more controversial sequel.

Why Do You Need A DSLR

2009-04-02T22:19:00.004+08:00

Tired of amateurish photography found in everyday people's blogs or some cheapo's Facebook account?

Don't spend your 1 grand on a useless Slim Cybershit i mean Cybershot Camera (it really was a typo.. try tying it fast). Invest in a DSLR camera and the difference is immediately noticed!

Check out a few very very quick and random shots taken in my own backyard when I had the chance to play with the camera again after the rain has gone. Never had i noticed the beauty of my own backyard and in my room in the dark.

Off focus lights in my room

I Have A New Blog and No It Ain't An April Fools Joke

2009-04-01T21:04:00.012+08:00

Yeah thats true, no April Fools joke too. What a time to announce that you have a new blog.

Okay more about the blog, I'm thinking of migrating my blog to a brand new "domain" by Apple. Its called MobileMe. What's great about it? Well for starters it has a capacity of 10GB, 20GB for a full license copy actually. (mine is complementary by Apple)

Besides that, it ain't so much of a blog but rather a more interactive page by page action. With all that in mind, it sounds great ain't it? Well kick me in the balls for saying it too soon, but hell it lags, and I mean.. they really do, since it's Apple owned, meaning that it has to go through the American server and we all know how "well streamyx" works on American Websites now especially FACEBOOK EH??

Anyway, the new link is http://web.me.com/ivankangweihan

Maybe, I should just stay with blogger after all... typing the link alone is killing me.. geeeez.. Can't they have a bloody .me instead? Wouldn't that be awesome? I mean for something that is 300 bucks a year..

owh yeah, you can also email/ichat me @ ivankangweihan@me.com

I'll finish of with some random picture of animals that I see in my backyard. Its a ZOO out there!

Right, the file size is huge.. Ooops..

well here's the link for my boring April Fools day alone with my bro's camera. Enjoy

http://gallery.me.com/ivankangweihan#100016

Happy Conficker Virus Day Everybody

Premier League Jersey 09/10

2009-03-27T23:25:00.005+08:00

Although the season hasn't ended yet and Manchester United is still in the lead. I've came acros with a few interesting jerseys for the TOP 4 Football Club in the Premier League.

Warning: The following jerseys are POTENTIAL/ RUMORED jerseys and they may make you puke. Good luck

Arsenal's 09/10 Away Jersey

Meet the all New and More Environmentally friendly Arsenal!

Even Arsenal is going green.

Chelsea 09/10 Home Jersey

Boobies for Drogba!

Very Terminator-ish

Liverpool 09/10 Away Jersey

So far the best among the top 4 new jersey.

Now the one we all have been waiting for,

Manchester United 09/10 Home Jersey

V For VIDIC!

Perhaps the extra V will increase aerodynamic-ness of the team therefore making us faster.

Manchester United 09/10 Away Jersey

Whats with the neck? It will take ages for them to get it right and they will spend their half time tying it. Owh yeah, look at the sponsor, Saudi Telecom.. Wondering if Jersey Sales will drop..

SEGi College's Awesome English

2009-03-21T21:02:00.007+08:00

SEGi College is so successful that it needs an extra E.

Didn't know that a Coke Machine was classified as a Collage by SEGi College.

And I thought Saggy(SEGi) Titties was bad enough.

Tagged By Jo Joan

2009-03-16T21:13:00.003+08:00

1. Crazy stuff u did before.
Dreaming of a crazy stuff

2. Most regrettable incident.
Dreaming of the crazy incident

3. If you are given a chance to reverse your life,will you back to the past ?
Yes, to not think of the crazy incident

4. What would u do if u were to die tomorrow ?
Never dream of the crazy stuff

5. Is there someone in your heart right now ?
oooo, so thats why my heart beats are a little awkward..

6. Do you feel loved in this world ?
Love is all around

7. What are you afraid to lose the most ?
My balls

8. What do you feel like doing right now ?
Redoing this whole tag again, its very lame. Please excuse me.

9. If there’s someone that you love, would you confess to him/her ?
A confession will be done to a priest only.

10. List 5 things that u like in a guy/girl.

Face

Body

Hand

Legs

Boobs

(You can't live without any of those)

11. What are the requirements that you not wish from your other half?

A penis

12. What do you think is your purpose in life?

World domination

13. Do you feel like killing someone at the moment?
Yes... [Slash/drop] opps, not anymore.

14. If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Humans

15. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick
Happy being rich.

16. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
Nothinggggg..

17. What is the most prized possession that you wish you can bring to Heaven?
South Park

18. Name one love song that you have in mind and why?

19. What is the one thing you love about yourself?
My balls

20. Do u think ur Life is meaningful enough ??
Look at the dictionary for the meaning of life.

Difference Between Football & American Football

2009-03-14T14:51:00.001+08:00

Hand Egg!

Official Apple iPhone 3G in Malaysia Rumors

2009-03-10T20:27:00.006+08:00

Yes, the iPhone has been out for almost 2 years, and finally it looks like Apple has decided to launch/ release the iPhone in Malaysia or as we hoped.

This news was greatly supported with evidence from an e-mail by my boss mentioning

"Something Exciting..

There is a long anticipated product finally coming to Malaysia and Machines is glad to be one of the chosen partners. Cannot share with you what it is for now, but I am sure many of you can guess already. So stay optimistic!"

Jakun jakun feeling all over, not because that I haven't see the iPhone before, trust me I'm literally bored with it already. Even the name iPhone is killing me with each customer that comes in saying at the iPod Touch that it is an iPhone (some even argued with me that its an iPhone, like i don't know any better).

If the iPhone is launched in Malaysia officially, there would be better benefits than buying it from neighboring countries or e-bay.

Cheaper
Cheaper again if you're a Maxis user. (Rumors that Maxis is the official mobile carrier)
Sales for Machines! ($$$ for me!)
iTunes Store for Malaysia (But it'll be an utter failure because who "buys" songs in Malaysia)
Prevents exporting money to the country you're buying from (Although large profits goes to Apple inc. an American company)
Prevents those Cina ah beng Hand Phone seller from cheating people's money by selling an iPhone 3G Rm 3,000, where actual price is Rm 2,500/Rm 2,400 depending on currency)

Ps. there are some other evidence that iPhone is launching tomorrow,

http://www.lowyat.net/v2/latest/maxis-to-reveal-iphone-package-tomorrow-2.html

and when I say launch it means LAUNCH and not SELLING.

Ivan Needs ~~a P~~hone/ a car/ a TV~~ ....~~ MONEY!

Asia Cafe Workers

2009-03-01T14:19:00.002+08:00

Mind through an Asia Cafe worker.

1. When a drink is out of stock, what is the first action to do?

A. Not delaying and immediately report to the customer that it is out of stock.

B. Recommend another drink to the customer.

C. Delaying the status and offer you to buy some tissues.

Hmm... This is a tough one.

Suicide!

2009-03-01T11:50:00.003+08:00

TIMMY (SOUTH PARK) VS. DANNY BOYLE (SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE)

2009-02-23T20:50:00.003+08:00

I don't know about you guys, but when I was watching the oscars earlier this morning, Danny Boyle kept appearing on the screen. And then it hits me, he looks like TIMMY from South Park.

DANNAAAAY!

TIMMAAAY!

I Love Saggy Titties

2009-02-23T12:18:00.003+08:00

Way way back then, I've made a post about Saggy Titties parody of SEGi College Facilities/ Facitities form.

Everyweek, when I check my nuffnang account, saggy titties was always one of my top hits on analytic.

Apparently, till today that was one of my most read post ever!
ivankang.blogspot.com = saggy titties?

My Awesome Mac Desktop Theme!

2009-02-22T22:08:00.003+08:00

My latest desktop theme, now with worms... hahahaha!

Rihanna's Beaten Up Photo

2009-02-20T15:50:00.003+08:00

Before

Chris Brown's gonna "hit you hit you hit you hit you hit you.... girl, hit you hit you hit you hit you hit you!"

After

DAAAMMMMNNN!.. Picture is Disturbiaa!!!!

Newsflash on the 13 Year Old that had SEX with the 15 year old girl that eventually had a babaaaaay....!

2009-02-17T21:37:00.004+08:00

Newsflash, apparently the 15 year old girl that slept with the 13 year old boy claims that she had slept with 8 guys so far. Good news to the world as you hear it cause it could be any of the little girl's friends that could be the father. Come to think about it, when I was 13 years old, I always plan on sleep over at guy friends place and play computer games or playstation 2 till i fall asleep on my friends bed, which when you think now is really really giving me the creeps. HOMO!

Picture courtesy of The Sun(UK)

Unfortunately for the little 13 year old boy, not only does he have to deal with the fact that his girlfriend is pregnant but also you have to pity him that his 15 year old girlfriend cheated on him 7 (SEVEN) times, each with diffrent guys!!!!! Geeeeeez, thats suckkks..

13 Year Old Dad?

2009-02-15T11:05:00.003+08:00

Weird things have become weirder this coming few days as a women gave birth to Octuplets and a 13 year old boy and a 15 year old girl became parents.
Picture Courtesy Of The Sun (UK)

It's weird because not only does the boy looks like his only 9 and haven't reached puberty but yet he still needs his dad to buy underwear or ground him or tells him to finish his homework before going to bed. According to The Sun, after the interview, the innocent eyed boy went to his PlayStation.
What have the world turned into?

HAPPY KILLING CUPID VALENTINES DAY!

2009-02-15T02:05:00.006+08:00

Its 2 hours pass Valentines Day. How was your Valentines Day? Did the Cupid manage to find you?

WideScreen

2009-02-12T01:21:00.003+08:00

Okay, my blog is under renovation now. The layouts are slightly off, because of the recent change to the widescreen format (1280x800). Anyway, random question who still uses 800x600 or 1024x768 resolution to view internet pages?

My MacBook Logo Color Poll

2009-02-12T00:02:00.008+08:00

I'm using a MacBook White and I feel like changing my Apple logo color. This are a few rendered/photoshopped colors of someone's Apple MacBook logo.
Please vote at the Nuffnang Advertorial located at the sidebar.

Usain Bolt's Early Celebration

2009-02-09T17:59:00.002+08:00